Former English skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of facing the future and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the minute," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, says rather he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his present wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the condition worsens.
"Possibly that's trauma or maybe I process things in another way, and once I have the facts, it's easier," he stated further.
Early Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the condition, a set of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably very moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't sense unwell
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a bit of muscle deterioration in the hand and the upper arm.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing all activities. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Condition Progression
MND can advance rapidly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the illness kills a 33% of people within a twelve months and over half within 24 months of diagnosis, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard worsening.
"It's not me that I am upset for," added an moved Moody.
"There's sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Impact
Speaking from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was quite upsetting," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and started removing the tears off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody said the priority was staying in the now.
"There is no treatment and that is why you have to be very strongly focused on just embracing and enjoying all aspects now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very blessed that the sole determination I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much period with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those years back."
Sportsman Link
Top-level competitors are excessively impacted by MND, with investigations indicating the rate of the illness is up to 600% greater than in the broader public.
It is considered that by reducing the air available and creating damage to neural pathways, regular, strenuous physical activity can initiate the illness in those inherently vulnerable.
Sports Career
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, unwavering approach to the game.
He participated through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a practice altercation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a practice gear and commenced throwing himself into collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the back of the line-out in the crucial moment of play, establishing a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has already informed Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a few other previous players about his diagnosis, but the rest will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the minute, just having that type of love and acknowledgment that people are available is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a great community.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it ended now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to call your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"To have done it for so considerable a time with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I am aware they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I await having those discussions."
